So I cried tonight. This guy named Trey, a friend of my best friend, was being a total ass on Achaea. Nothing different than usual, but today it really, REALLY got to me.

Anyway, the guy was razzing me (as per usual) and I just got so mad. Like crying angry.

He had no right or reason to be an ass to the people on our clan channel (Kind of like an out-of-character chat room within the game) Luckily he stopped and after I cooled down a bit, I sat down with the other guy he was being an jerk to, my other best friend who is also in the clan with us. I told him that I was still so upset and this guy always rubs me the wrong way. He told me that he doesn't let the jerk get to him, to treat him like an 8 year old with a temper tantrum and take all he says with a grain of salt. I raged back again saying that he DOES know better and I couldn't understand why anyone could be like that to someone they don't know. My friend just told me that the jerk didn't bother him so why should it bother me? I simply stated that he was my best friend and no one talks to my best friend that way if I have something to say about it. I continued on saying I guess I get defensive that way because if it were ME getting ragged on, I'd want someone to step up for me. I may not necessarily need the rescue, but I'd just want someone to show they cared.

And that's when I realized the reason why I put up with the assholery that these guys bring and why it upsets me so much when I get fed up with their bullshit. I'm just waiting for that day that my best friend will stand up for me...because a lot of the time I feel like she won't. And it breaks my heart.

Maybe I'm just too sensitive. The thick skin I've supposedly grown still isn't really that thick.

~Vic

These pictures the first of many beautiful pictures to come. My best friend Alyissa and Jordan just had beautiful baby boy January 29th, 2009. He’s a little bundle of perfect joy and Momma and Daddy are fine, thank God, thank God. ~vickie

Auld Lang Syne

Today was a chilly –27’C with a bit of wind, which probably brought it down to –32’C at least. Brrr. Still though, it was clear and sunny out, making everything pretty. The brisk air felt wonderful to breathe and walk about in.

Been thinking a lot about the new year, what I want to change, what will stay the same. In true HP fandom, I’ll quote Hagrid from the end of Book 4: "What’s comin’ will come, and we’ll meet it when it does.” Ain’t that the truth.

Funny things happened today as I walked. Watched a flock of stupid ptarmigans try to cross Yellowknife’s main drag as cars and truck whizzed by. Stupid birds, haha. What else did I see…Oh! Three little Japanese tourists rotating turns taking pictures underneath downtown Yellowknife’s digital clock/thermometer. They had to keep trying a couple times for each of them because they want the picture when the current temperature flashed by. It was soooo cute. I missed being home.

I sympathize with you so hard it isn't even funny.

Buck up, sometimes things change but things will be okay. I can't even dress simple phrase up anymore because that's all there is to it.

Don't put so much blame on yourself. If things have to end, then I want you to get it through your thick head that it wasn't JUST YOU. As high a pedestal you put her on, she's only human too.

You're going to be fine. Really. Every word I say is from battle-hardened experience. It's the end of the year, the end of a decade. There's a blue moon on the 31st, did you know? All these signs are pointing for a fresh start on the 1st, and that doesn't mean at all that it will be without the people we care about.

marvi’s D&D Adventures: Excerpt #1 “The shot of her LIFE!”

I love my online D&D group so much. This excerpt is courtesy of my DM, Chekken, and myself, combining our EPIC WRITING POWERS to create this little gem. Malgrava will tell tales of this arrow shot to her grandkids and anyone else within hearing at the Home for Super Hot Retired Heroes and Heroines. ~marvi

Readying another arrow, Malgrava feels a cool shiver pulse through her body as she feels the world s l o w i n g around her. Her heartbeat still thumping loud but slower and slower in her ears as her vision sharpens to take in all that's around her. Darts sprung cleverly by Dale fly at the invading kobold horde, skewering them (as well as a few companions).

There is something about this moment, right now, that made her feel comfortable and relaxed. With this meditative feeling, she felt as if she could do anything...hit anything...and striking the kobold 20ft away was not only possible, but positively easy. She let her arrow fly with the power of a war-forged vixen. It spun past Falco circling around a kobold, trying to get behind it; past Jakk, who was toe-to-toe with the enemy; past Sireekuute, who was recovering from the poison and past the front ranks of the kobold army. In mid-air, her arrow split into 5 more arrows, which struck every vital point on the kobold. Mal wasn't quite sure how she did it, or how it happened, nor why. Turning her attention back to any attackers left, the sounds and action of the fight rush back at her in normal speed.

Destiny: Another tale of love, loss and fates entwined (Part One)

The last time I was really just held in someone's arms was October last year. I'm not including the embraces I got when I was sobbing (Thanks, Patrick) or just normal hugs. I mean really held, just to be held. His name was Garrett, "The Kid" as we sometimes refer to him in hindsight. How we hooked up was laughable, when we broke up...less so. At least for me. But let's take the story back a month, to that fateful August 2008.

Neo had just devastated our perceptions of him, breaking Alyissa's heart and in tandem, my own, seeing her in such a tough place with little I can do. As the days went by, we went about as we usually did after a bad time, slowly getting out of the funk, but I knew this time...it really cut Alyissa deep. I'd see it fleetingly, when we'd laugh, or sit around at work, that blurry veil that seems to cast over her gaze. Then one morning, in the rare dark hours of Yellowknife in the summer, I felt the urge to stir myself awake.

"Vickie." she said in THAT voice. "Uggh...mm?" (Or something like that. I'm not going to make myself articulate for the purposes of this tale) "Vickie," she continued. "Don't go back to sleep, you have to go to work." Her words began to process slowly. "Mmmer...what? Why...?" (It was my day off, ya see) "You HAVE to go to work today," she pressed. "Because we're leaving for BC tomorrow."

To be continued...

Doodle #1

*First off, I'd like to say it's good to be back. Thanks for reading!*

I told Weesha I didn't know what I thought of Doodle. But I do: I like him. And I know she knows that somehow, I'm not exactly a hard book to read. I admitted to him aloud my crush but also my fears. I'm ashamed to admit that, despite how optimistic I am, I can't bring myself to believe romantic things can happen to me. I'm scared to become happy with someone again and lose them. I told him the source of it all might have been been the break-up that happened nearly three and a half years ago, several lifetimes ago, it feels like when I considered what's happened since then. As sensitive as I am, I've rarely cried as hard as I did back then and it took me a long time to not have it constantly in my mind. I went through a rollercoaster series of emotions in the months following. I still loved Muse, then I resented him. I forgave Muse, then I hated him and then I loved him again. And now, three years later, the both of us have reached a new level of maturity. Muse will always be dear to me, and I to him but the time has come to embrace the chance to experience something new. It's only fate that I found Doodle and starting developing something there.

And despite all my paranoia and fears...I'm still excited. I'm excited to feel the butterflies I thought I couldn't feel anymore. I'm relieved that I wasn't emotionally disfunctional and, not to put down the fabulous world of alternate living, that I wasn't gay. To finally meet this nice guy that isn't a pussy and is more than a little interesting and legitimately interested in me. We'll see where this goes.

~vickie

Wise Words – A brief guest experience

It's been a while since I wrote anything but I've been working like a horse at the restaurant and banking in as many hours and tip cash as I can before I leave for Edmonton (Which shall be the 20th, I hope!) I'm going to really miss BP's, I think it ranks right up there with the good ole hay days of the Wal~Mart Photo Lab as my favourite job I've had so far.

I really don't have a lot to update with myself. There has been lots of work, WoW is keeping  my game on and I'm counting down days to school. Alyissa's married and settling with Jordan in their new apartment in Capilano, Kelsey and Dan are going out, Stefan's going to U of A...All good things, everywhere, happening very, very soon. Amazing!

I'll end this short post with some very wise words from a interesting gentleman I served near the end of my shift last night. As he was paying his tab, Katya, Michael and I were standing up front and he told us, "Ladies, gentleman...allow me to pass on a few words of wisdom to you, and I would like you to take them to heart." As he flipped through the pages of his book to find the passage, he continued, "Take them to heart and every morning, before you start your day, you say this.” He showed us a short, simple question, highlighted brightly in the middle of the page. The thought challenge to you, my readers, is to ask this question to yourself:

How much fun will I have today?

~vickie